What is Erin French Really Like?

Erin’s story is compelling. It’s a journey of fighting through adversity and finally achieving success in a most unlikely way. She is the celebrity chef version of Rocky Balboa.  Her achievements command respect and they should!

In researching this article, my assessment of Erin’s personality is that she’s an intelligent, driven woman with a strong personality.  This is typical of people who rise & excel in their field – sports stars, tech CEO’s, celebrities, etc.  This is a compliment, not a critique.  

Self-absorbed?

However, Erin French’s narrative comes across a bit self-absorbed. 

This is exacerbated by the fact that the media blitz surrounding her is based on the premise that toxic people took advantage of her when she was weak but now she is strong and experiencing the best revenge, success. 

This is not how I interpret Erin’s rise to fame.

She seems like someone who was entrepreneurial & hard working from youth,  intelligent and driven. She has continually moved her life forward while experiencing setbacks along the way. 

• Growing up in Rural Maine didn’t hold her back.
• An unplanned pregnancy didn’t hold her back.
• Divorce didn’t hold her back.
• Addiction only held her back for a bit. 
• Returning to Rural Maine did not hold her back.

One critic of French’s book Finding Freedom, Yun, states it very eloquently:

For a memoir, there’s also a noticeable lack of anecdotes, especially towards the second half of the book. For example, she often talks about her son, but there isn’t a single thing I remember about him because she never shared anything concrete. Or she often mentions that she and her sister don’t get along, but didn’t actually give any examples of what happened. Instead, she tells her story mostly through introspection, with events quickly summarized so that she can get to her thoughts and feelings on it, which is where she really spends the bulk of her time.

It was also extremely hard to read what happened to her. She grew up surrounded by toxic people and relationships. Instead of setting boundaries, she only knew how to enabled these people and to grab on ever harder, seeking their approval and affection.   

source: Goodreads

Considering the narrative as a warts-and-all triumph over adversity tale, the omissions are odd. Additionally, it takes a bit of narcissism to throw non-public figures under the bus during the course of a book promotion.  It comes off petty.

I see her as more of a fallible alpha-personality than victim of opportunistic oppressors. 

Controversial Erin French Subjects:

One issue I have with the media talking points surrounding Erin’s publicity campaign is that there are both glaring omissions and broad generalizations. I suspect these omissions are intentional to make the Lost Kitchen story more triumphant & sympathetic. 

Below are a few topics which deserve closer examination:

1. Child Custody Erin either lost or voluntarily gave up custody of her biological child to her ex-husband Todd French who is not the biological father (this is public information). Custody arrangements like Erin’s rarely happen. According to family law attorney Judith Holtzman, “Can step-parents win custody against biological parents? When it comes to the child’s best interest, the situation just might warrant it.”  By her own admission,  Erin was doctor shopping for illicit Xanax & Ambien prescriptions and drinking to excess leading up to her divorce. Despite the characterization of her first husband Todd French as abusive, alcoholic and controlling, it’s odd that he was granted custody of his stepchild.  Their child is now an adult and keeps a low profile online. However,  there are a few significant footprints online: 1) Erin gave her child a public shout-out & shared her child’s Instagram address on her wildly popular TheLostKitchen Instagram account.  2)  School-related citations suggest that their child lived with or at least attended school in the district of their father’s town long after Erin attained sobriety. Erin writes & speaks freely of her child but we are withholding the young adult’s name for privacy. 
2. Being Manipulated. Erin attended the prestigious Northeastern University of Boston for two years before withdrawing due to pregnancy. This is no small feat for a young woman from the rural town of Freedom.  In fact, Mount View High School ranks #13,383 out of 17,843 based on US News & World Report School Rankings. Although I cannot find public college continuation statistics for her high school, I suspect they are low due to the school’s 59% poverty rate and relatively low US News & World Report rankings. This is significant because it reinforces the premise that Erin was unusually ambitious, intelligent and capable from a young age. In fact, I suspect Erin was/is often the smartest person in the room, wherever she goes.
3. Relations with Father David Richardson. While Erin is obviously extremely close with her mother Deanna, the relationship with her father appears less so.  In the acknowledgements of Finding Freedom, Erin addresses her father suggesting both gratitude and estrangement.  “You may never read this…but without you I’m not sure who I would be…. I found my life’s passion standing at the stove, and it’s all because of you.”  I found no evidence of David Richmond publicly commenting on his relationship with his oldest daughter who is a public figure. In contrast, Erin has characterized  her father  (not a public figure) as heavy drinking and explosive .    
4. Ex-Husband Conspired to Ruin Her Career & Life. Erin implies her ex-husband conspired against her in a manipulative way at the absolute lowest point in her life.  Basically, he convinced her to go to rehab. Then while she was away, unilaterally closed the restaurant and took custody of her biological child. By Erin’s own words, she was a prescription pill addict and alcoholic at that time. Additionally, she was depressed and suffered from crippling anxiety.  In recent interviews, she attributes her addictions and depression to her ex-husband’s cruel behavior. However, in a Tumblr post from 2013, she attributes at least some her behavior to the stress of running the restaurant. She acknowledges “running herself into the ground with work,” “needing to step back,” the need to “take a breath, ” etc.
   https://thelostkitchen.tumblr.com/post/49376893832/going-deep-life-presents-us-with-challenges

   In her new memoir, Erin seemingly admits to acts of physical abuse against her husband. “My life had come undone, and there was no way to hide it anymore. There were marks on Tom’s face to prove it,” she says. 

5. Post Sobriety. Based on social media postings from 2013-present, it seems Erin spent a lot of time alone working on the second incarnation of The Lost Kitchen and traveling to places like Los Angeles & Europe to further her career. This speaks well to her steely determination, ambition  and resilience. However, it flies in the face of the idea that a few months stint in rehab cost her both her child and career.  Had she not gone to rehab, any number of worse outcomes could have happened.

Conclusion

Erin French dreamed of running a successful restaurant. She achieved it beyond belief. Her efforts should be recognized and commended. 

Like many of life’s winners, decisions she made along the way mostly kept her moving toward her goals. I’m certain she would disagree with this. Of course, she had setbacks, as well. However, Erin French’s remarkable success is admirable & fascinating in of itself.